so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
