He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
