Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
