She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
