Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
