She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
