my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
