you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
