we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
