why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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