We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize