So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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