wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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