You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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