I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
