Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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