somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
