What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
