I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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