I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
