i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
