ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm so fucking centered right now
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
