Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
