Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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