Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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