i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
