We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize