It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize