I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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