I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
