So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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