So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
