So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
