tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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