I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
