She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i need some magic done to my vagina
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
