and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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