i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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