Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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