I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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