Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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