HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize