Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Did I show you my penis last night?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
