She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
