I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
