so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize