oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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