Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
