it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize