this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize