I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
