i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
