Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's rum buckets o'clock
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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