i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
