You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
