i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
this is an emotional support booty call
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
