I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my poor anus
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
