I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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