i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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