And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
