at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i dont even know how to be here
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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