Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
