There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
