At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize