Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
